Ironically, I created this blog to share my thoughts with the world. And then the first thing I did, was make the posts generalized enough so that the world would have no idea what I was thinking...
So... What I'm actually thinking. Is that I'm sad right now. mourning the loss of a relationship that never really existed... Yet I would have given everything I had if it had. And despite everything I know to be true, or even what my friends have told me. I still love Cat. For all the good parts. And the bad.
So - what should I say here?
I am hurting. Feeling the pain that represents the vacuum that follows when happiness leaves the room.
To be fair... there are some days that are better than others. But there are more days that I'm not totally sure that it's even worth waking up for.
There's the irony that one solution is to keep busy. Until you're too tired to continue. and then (ironically) feel worse when you start letting people down.
I wish that pain weren't such a necessary part of life. But it's true. Without pain, how can you really know what happiness is?
Posted by Brice at September 10, 2007 05:05 PM